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29 Sep How an adult supports a child to instill positive self-esteem in themselves.
Posted at 19:16h
in Peace Garden Montessori
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By the time a child is five years, old they have developed 85% of their core brain structure. In fact, a baby is born with more brain cells than an adult. In a child’s early years, they are constantly making trillions of new synapses (connections). The child’s mind is like a sponge and Montessori says, “The child is endowed with unknown powers, which can guide us to a radiant future.”
Importantly, by the time a child is 5, they have a comparable self esteem to that of adults. This self esteem remains unchanged and stable throughout adulthood. Therefore, it is crucial a child has belief in themselves early on so it can stay with them for the rest of their lives.
In a Montessori classroom, the child develops their self esteem by:
1) Having a trusting relationship with their teacher guide. The child should be free to explore freely and work with materials peacefully without judgement. A peaceful relationship = a peaceful mind open to receive all the Montessori environment has to offer.
2) Maria Montessori noticed way back in 1907, that self correction is one of the cornerstones to happiness and self worth. The materials in a Montessori classroom are self correcting. Thereby, a child can then “see what he can do ….. and supply him with indicators which tell him his mistakes…His very nature tends toward exactitude and the ways of obtaining it appeal to him.” (Absorbent Mind) A child is never told they made a mistake, instead, they find it themselves and this keeps their self worth and dignity intact. The errors are their own to fix.
3) A 3 year mixed age group in a classroom setting enables the older child to mentor the younger ones and as a result they feel pride in themselves upon receiving adoration and respect from the younger peers.
4) Hearing “good job” does NOT help a child develop self esteem from within. Hearing “good job” is not an indicator of how a child feels about what they did, but is a subjective comment coming from the adult. It’s a “good job” to you, but is it for the child? Instead, in a Montessori classroom a child develops self esteem through, “work and activities that the character of the child is transformed. Work influences his development in the same way that food revives the vigour of a starving man. We observe that a child occupied with matters that awaken his interest seems to blossom, to expand, evincing undreamed character traits; his abilities give him great satisfaction, and he smiles with a sweet and joyous smile.” (San Remo lectures)
As a child becomes more independent, they feel an inner joy and an awareness that their potential as boundless. When they do real work and have the freedom to correct themselves, they become “the leaders of themselves”, and perhaps maybe even become our future leaders. When a older child mentors a young one, they feel a sense of adoration and love from their younger peers and that builds their sense of self. By loving what they do and feeling the support and safety with those around them, they learn to love themselves.
In correspondence with a Montessori framework, we as adults can teach children to say beautiful phrases that they can repeat to themselves. These will one day be engraved in their personas. Things like, “I am brave”, “I am smart”, “I am strong”, “I am kind”, “I can do my work”, “I work hard”, “I am beautiful”….. are soul lifting and mindful affirmations that assist children to believe in themselves while they are immersed in their rich Montessori environments. These come from the “I” and as it’s repeated they derive inner strength and confidence that they will take with them throughout their lives.